The Best Way to Pet a Cat is with Your Eyes

I think I am pushing crazy cat lady status. 

I've even contemplated starting a cat themed Pinterest board but I'm afraid that might actually cement my eccentric status.  Now that I'm older not living under my parents’ roof I've wanted to go animal crazy.  Both my rents had dogs growing up.  But dogs?  They require way too much work.  Don't get me wrong, I could use an animal in my life that actually responds, knows its name and cuddles in bed rather than tearing apart the sides of the mattress but I do not want to take the damn thing for walks all the time.  My life is already exhausting.  Dogs are way more work that cats. 

I mean but look at this sucker?  Doesn't he just scream cuddle bug?

My two cats, Benny and Eva, are quite the opposite. 

 They don't really cuddle unless it happens to be a completely inconvenient time for you.  I have noticed though since moving to the couch I have become the center of the cuddleverse.  Before Eva there was Bella but I don’t know if I’m ready to share that crazy/sad story yet.  Eva was adopted from a t-shirt shop in Ann Arbor after my friend Nicole secured her kitty who for months was known only as Furball.  Later she would be bestowed an appropriately cute name as well, Penny.  When Nicole moved out of her apartment and into a house she could no longer keep Penny so I said screw it, why the hell can’t I have two cats?! 

The first night these two litter mates came to live in my apartment was like a scene similar to 300.  Kitties were fighting and nobody wanted to stop and drink water for fear of being attacked.  I mean seriously, you have never heard two cats growl or pant harder.  Eventually they started eating and drinking.  For the most part, they get along now fine.  I often fawn over their brother/sister grooming time.  Oh, I said brother.  Penny is actually a Benny.  He grew a big old pair of fuzzy nuts that were clearly unmistakable markings of boy parts.  I mean, I was the one to say that Eva was a girl; her color pattern proves that.  But again, I only had suicidal fish growing up, how would I know what to look for on a teeny yelping kitten?!

Saturdays are Caturdays.  I know this because Animal Planet gives me all the Too Cute!  (there is a free kitten episode on iTunes this week) and My Cat From Hell I could possible ever hope to watch!  Come on dude, they have a kitten cam!  KITTENS! Penguins too if you swing that way. Have you seen a ragdoll cat?  They are like straight from fluffville.   These cities only exist if you are cat crazy like me.

I see other unabashed cat people on Pinterest going nuts with these things.  The people I’m closer friends with also have cats.  And not just one cat, some of them have houses full of cats.  I won’t get that crazy.  Fingers crossed.

I seriously just need to own something cuddly.  Did I mention I've always wanted a gecko?

It's Hard Being Black and Gifted

In the wake of the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman Case, I will attempt in the most positive, non-polarizing way as possible to share a personal story.

There has constantly been an issue in our society regarding the rights of African American men.  This case hits me because something similar (yet thankfully not as tragic) happened to my brother many years before.  My brother, the Talented and Gifted Adonis I grew up admiring, and hating, was the victim of racial profiling following the Columbine Massacre.

We moved around a lot as kids and I think that had something to do with the awkward way in which we developed.  Our first move to Indianapolis led me to a life full of friends and fun.  Darrell on the other hand, well, to put it lightly had it rough.  Okay well, maybe not rough but the boy was clearly awkward.  He was on track to be Valedictorian at his high school.  He participated in plays and was a fierce competitor on the soccer field which would later lead him to his love of rugby.

4-20-1999 - Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold effectively massacre several classmates and teachers before eventually taking their own lives at Columbine High School in Colorado.

Fast forward a few days
I'm sitting at home with my mother when a cop car rolls up with my brother.  My brother, never even stole from the candy bin at Meijer, came home in a cop car; I was tenish at the time and didn't quite understand the magnitude of what was going on but knew something was up.  My mother burst into tears when the officer revealed what happened to bring my brother home in such dramatic fashion.  He was expelled from Lawrence Central High School because he was a presumed member of the trench-coat mafia.  Who knew that dead teens crossed state lines to cause mayhem in our tiny waterfront community.

They arrested Darrell and subsequently expelled him because his poetry was dark and depressing (have you heard of goth or emo?).  He wore trench-coats, like many other law abiding citizens.  But those two things were nothing compared to something about him that will never change - he's a black male.  SCARY!  I don't even think Darrell was 16 at the time.  The high school for gifted juniors and seniors across the state started to receive his reference letters that went from glowing remarks of the great student to notes of fear and cowardice from teachers that barely knew what he was all about.

And that's what this all boils down to isn't it?  Cowardice from the leagues of people that do not seek to understand what they don't know, they only want what they want and that is to remain blissfully ignorant.

Larger Image Here

I actually googled so I could provide you with more accurate information about the subject.  My brother was active in y-press at the time, an Indianapolis based youth press organization, and there had been an article written about the expulsion.  The organization is now defunct and no amount of googling will bring back a dead domain.
See image to the right for the Y-Press article.

In the end, my brother is alive.  He's happily married and is a successful lawyer/engineer former blogger for Ghostface Killah.  I'd say that despite not graduating valedictorian from LC he's doing alright.  People like Trayvon Martin and Emmett Till don't have that chance and at this rate, no young black male ever will.

As a person of color, there are things I just don't engage in because of the stereotype that could come with it.  I went through a hoodie wearing phase and can't imagine what my parents would be doing now had I been gunned down on my way home from a convenience store, skittles and tea in hand.  These cases, though few, are still a reminder of the prejudices in the hearts and minds of many American citizens.  We need to stop the acceleration of these events and start to focus on what needs to happen to prevent this instances from occurring in the future or we are going to have full scale pandemonium in our streets.




I'll leave you with this response to the verdict: Melissa Harris Perry - George Zimmerman Verdict Response

Cuz I'm A Woman, W-O-M-A-N

Sometimes, I regret not having majored in women's studies or taking more feminist oriented classes but I look at the people I graduated with that did and I'm not too impressed with where they ended up.  But there are always a few Madisonians that will forever leave me doubting my own intelligence and determination.  I’m talking about you, Levin.

There isn't a women's issue out that I don't want to champion from the right to choose all the way to equal pay (especially for superior work).  I am a member of the V Day campaign.  Violence against women is a global atrocity that would continue to be detrimental to women everywhere where it not such a public issue these days.

This is one of those broad issues I try not to shove down people’s throats.  My reasoning is that I'm so passionate about it I don't want other people to misinterpret my passion.

I struggle everyday with the idiot currently know as my boyfriend because he still has this old fashioned notion that the woman, namely me, is responsible for doing ALL  of the household chores.  That was in a time before more woman than men were attending and finishing college.  That was in a time when women weren't working jobs, let alone full time jobs.  And more importantly, that was in a time when there was no need for a two family income. 

Let me mention that he is 10 months, pushing 11 behind on all of his bills while I, the college educated Team Leader of the office has no financial woes.  The mess in our apartment has finally gotten to the point where even he is sick of the mess.  Now in good conscious, could I clean this up?  Sure, I could attempt that but that undermines my authority and would never teach him a lesson.  Meh, I dunno. 

I realize V-Day and cleaning my apartment are not all that similar.  The point is that men have a problem respecting woman and often times that stems from their own internal struggles understanding women to be a strong, defiant sex.

I implore you to challenge the status quo in your house or with your friends regarding women’s issues and to help us stop saying something has to change by changing yourself.

Say It Loud

My reactions and reflections to Dark Girls:

I watched this video.  I watched, read and listened to For Colored Girls and become enveloped in a new sense of empowerment; my brain is finally acknowledging the fact that I am not the only person in this struggle, this "dark" place.

There is so much involved in the composition of the “black girl”.  We too are like onions and ogres, layers upon layers of depth and definition interwoven with a deep cultural richness.

I have a summer shade and winter shade.  My summer shade is dark, mysterious and lovely.  My winter shade makes me feel so past and pale but it makes me feel like I fit in better with my friends that lack pigmentation.  My hue has reds and yellows.  I glow.  But unlike the brand of my childhood perm, I don’t feel Dark and Lovely.

My sorority little sister is dark and beautiful.  There is nothing more to it.  I don’t think she believes that she is beautiful all the time.  How can you, when people look at you and tell you “Damn, you are dark as midnight.  If you close your eyes and open your mouth I’d think you were the Cheshire Cat!” People think they are being funny but what is really being done is something serious.  It creates this institution, this mental block that causes this circle of self loathing.  She’s rocking these blue contacts right now that just look ridiculous.  But I did that.  I wore green ones because there comes a time where you are just feed up with being black, black, black.  An aunt of mine has blue eyes and an uncle has green.  From what I’m told my Popi had blue eyes.

The thing that will hit me every day, the thing that will haunt me well after her death is the fact that I had the audacity to ever tell my mother I wanted my white mommy to pick me up from preschool.  I can’t even fathom the damage and pain I caused her at the meager age of four. 

I’ll entertain the idea of dating anybody but in actuality, I've only ever been with people of a different race because I don’t want to perpetuate a stereotype.  I don’t want to go out in public and be judged.  It’s painful and it pains me to type this.  I was bullied in school by people of matching and differing complexion: where does that leave me?  My grandmother told me I needed to wait until she died to get married because she was sure it wouldn't be a black man at the altar with me.  Ouch.  It’s still hard to find make up at a grocery store in my skin tone.  I can’t just go buy a nude bra or tights.  I have to find a specialty store and stock up because who knows how long the product will last.  I won a contest and was given shampoo that I can’t use because it is not for my hair type.

I hate my hair.  I stopped getting weaves to mimic white celebrities mostly because it was running me $300+ every two months and was just me trying to blend in to what society thinks I should look like.  My short hair is not my favorite but it is mine.  My workplace is a strange place.  The majority of the people in my office are women of color.  In another office, would I be allowed to have my hair natural and curly?  Would it be a distraction?  DOES ANYBODY ASK THAT QUESTION THAT IS NOT A PERSON OF COLOR?  Incredible that as a woman of color I have to think about that, seriously think about that.  I tried dying my hair in the same trends my friends were doing in middle school and I lost my hair just trying to fit in, with any group.

I make it a point in my life to mention that I am not just African American.  This might be because everybody else has these vivid tales of their nationalities and ancestry. I am also Cuban and Irish and I am beautiful.  In other countries, do they say I’m Polish Russian?  Do people care like they do here?

Think about this cheerios commercial drama.  Why can’t an interracial couple be in a commercial when these types of couples are a becoming a reality.

How beautiful would it be for us to just have a world free from color barriers?  This is the new/old NOH8.  

Let the revolution start with you today: Love thyself first and but nobody above thee.