Love The Way You Lie

Really though, why are all facets of life based on how well you lie?

I've applied for so many jobs and haven't heard a damn thing back besides the sea of rejections emails I am currently burning to stay warm in my office.  My resumes means nothing to me.  Black and white words condensed to as close to one page as possible that with the help of a thesaurus captures a minute amount of the tasks I accomplished at each job.

But what are words on a paper without a voice to back them, right?
We now enter the realm of interviews.  Thirty minutes to an hour of nerves sitting in a room that may as well have white walls and padding to catch all the crazy that enters it.  You sit around a large table with one to four other individuals hoping they will ask you the questions to which you have the best canned responses prepared and offer you the position on the spot.

There are some really awful people that continue to be hired and promoted based on how they look on a sheet.  Why can't I be judged on my abilities, perseverance or resourcefulness?  My third grade teacher had be hook up her power point system.  The old women at the office go nuts for my work ethic; that can't be described on paper.

My GPA is not an accurate reflection of my aptitude and neither is my resume.  If you want to hire a skilled liar then I hope to god you are filling a sales position.

Demi - Is Demi Lovato Going to Give My Heart a Break?

There are no cliches.  There are no amount of Ben and Jerry's Brownie Batter pints for me to sink into to drown my sorrows.

I'm single.

How strange.  After four years of bullshit, I'm free.
It doesn't feel good.  It doesn't feel awful.  It just is a state of being.
free

This didn't even seem like a possibility when we were in our first month of dating.  There was affection and passion in our relationship.  We used to spend nights together after work that didn't end until six in the morning, thirty minutes before he would leave for work in Ohio.  I used to look at him and then back and me and never understand how I got so lucky, how anybody in their right mind could choose me.  Now, I recognize see the naivety of a depressed twenty year old with low self esteem.

The first sign of trouble in our relationship didn't start for a while.  Granted, he was still texting his exes with some fever when I did look in his phone the following May.  We cuddled and laughed like other couples but enjoyed our quirky evenings of N64 and taco dinners.  I had friends that new him before we were together that couldn't understand why I wanted to get myself his life.  But I didn't.  I wanted to have a fun summer after sophomore year, and I did with you added to the picture.

We stopped doing things together.  We didn't talk.  It became a situation where two people just coexisted pretending that they could hold onto what they once shared.  I'm happy to not deal with your lies.  I'm happy to soon be rid of your piggish behavior but most importantly, I'm glad I never had to do weight watchers to lose about half my body weight in fat like the person that is the reason I've had enough.

May you think of me often and it pain you.  May you feel the pain I've felt for years.  May the next girl experience with you all that you've done to me and then some.  May she worry about your drinking and unfaithfulness.  And may you never, no matter who it is or how much I dislike them, reign upon them the physical pain that you inflicted upon me.  How could I have lived like a fool for so long?  I hope I never have children to explain the last four years to.  These 1460 days will be a permanent reminder of my strength and character; I hope they reflect that I was dedicated and a passionate lover in my ignorance.

So you can keep every I'm sorry you have left for me.  I don't want it.
You can take ever picture we ever had together and burn them.  I will be.

I believe it was once misquoted about fury and women:
Hell hath no fury like me scorned
http://8tracks.com/wildmilk/he-s-gotta-go

You were a boy when i met you and a cheater ever since,

How did I do something as stupid as give you the first kiss?

I hope that one day when you're angry you remember what you did

And you muster up the courage to call me up so I'll forgive

Keep your I'm sorrys and the I'll change to your self

It's time for me to face the world and recaputure my health

Google Maps Told Me I Could Get There By Walking, I Drove Instead

How epic was the road trip I just got back from?  

So friggin' epic that I'm already planning my next one and learning from my mistakes.  The s/o and I took the long weekend I already had off for Lollapalooza (sold the tickets, line up was less than stellar) and headed out to the open road on a Pure Michigan road trip.  My initial plans were to hit Grand Rapids, Holland, Ludington, Traverse City, Mackinac Island, the U.P. and Frankenmuth.  And surprisingly, everything was done except the trip to Frankenmuth which is fine because that's really a day trip from my house.  Honestly, we could definitely have made it to Frankenmuth Sunday and spent the night to see the things we would have missed due to such a late arrival.

I think we definitely had the right idea.  The decision to take the trip was really rather last minute and some major improvement can be made between now and the next road trip.

We didn't have an actual map.  We picked up the local touristy maps at each hotel we stopped at but you really needed that to help plan out your trip initially.  I kind of broke the trip down to like two major cities everyday.  Since the trip was so spur of the moment, it didn't even occur to me that I needed to really plot out things to do once we got there and travel time between cities.  Thankfully, we went during a perfect time of the year; all the little quaint downtown areas had sidewalk sales going on and of course Traverse City had another record breaking year for their 9th Annual International Film Festival.

I also think I should contact some of the Big Three and see if they would let me test drive a car for the long weekend while I complete another road trip.  I could blog about the performance of the car, note how many times I need to fill up in this vehicle, how many total miles and the total drive time for the trip.  Come on Ford, wouldn't you love to see your C-Max in action this year?  Road tripping could totally be my new niche, if I wasn't so exhausted all the time.  

Taking this trip really had me forgetting I was even in the state of Michigan anymore.  Everywhere had it's own distinct beauty that I started to forget that I was still in the United States.  Have you seen Traverse City?  There isn't a colour in the crayon box that perfectly captures how blue it is up there - breathtaking.  

My goal in completing this trip was to be able to really call myself a  Michigander.  How can you if you've never gotten your fudge straight from Mackinac Island while listening to a horse empty its bladder?